kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
