I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
