my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
