lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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