You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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