I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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