i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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