Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
