You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
