Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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