Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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