You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is it because I queefed?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
