i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
