I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
