Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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