he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
