i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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