It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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