It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
