Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
