A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
