Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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