my room smells like sperm. sweet.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
