I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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