this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I need water and some morals
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
