Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
