that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
