thus making me awesome and them whores
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
