Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
