And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
