i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
