ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
