My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
