Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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