Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
