So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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