They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
