She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
