Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
