I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Randomize
