Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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