I hate your face
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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