Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
