Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
