She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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