You made me cry and you don't even care
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
