i permit you to call me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
