I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
it's like heaven, but drunker
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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