All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
