at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
